One time I read a story...

In this story the main character gets thrown in prison. Wrongfully accused of some heinous crime, he swears to get even with those who have wronged him. He then escapes prison, tracks down the treasure left to him by a fellow prisoner, and returns to the world he knew as the man everyone envies. He then feeds Captain Hook to the crocodile, puts the glass slipper on the wooden puppet, (who then turns into a big smiley cat) and lives happily ever after.

I think this story is about me. Really. I know it's not called "The Count of Hicktown" but hear me out. Working as a stalker sometimes feels like being in prison, I am in school getting the "treasure" of knowledge. And everyone I know pretty much envies me right now, so there you go. A work of fiction, perhaps, but not too far from reality as I'm sure you'll agree.

Okay, so now that you've been educated on some of the finest written works ever to endow a page with their finery, enjoy some even better...um...pictures of stuff.

This is a picture of the kids at the 4th of July parade. The good thing about this parade is that they throw LOTS of candy, and that keeps the kids from realizing how hot and dumb parades are.

Okay, if you don't believe me about the dumbness of parades, check out that float in the background. Oh, by golly, you're right. It's not a float at all, but a big old crappy truck towing some type of road maintenance machine. Sorry, you're right, parades ARE awesome.

Okay, we all know kids are messy. I just wanted to document a particularly dirty dinner. And yes, that is enchilada sauce inside his ear. I don't know why he does it. I know his aim isn't that bad. Maybe that will be the next new spa treatment: Hydrating Enchilada Mask (corn optional).

And stay tuned for additional awesomeness from my 4th of July. If you doubt the awesomeness, here's a preview, er, pre-read to get you stoked. It involves a three wheeled bicycle, and a mustache.